Il Cavaliere Inesistente

Some people don’t like to be alone and I happen to be one of them. It makes one feel helpless and you wonder if there’s a purpose to your very existence. As a consequence, some surrender themselves to lifestyles that are filled with noise and excitement of all kind regardless of the consequences. Some choose to keep everything to themselves, thinking that if the world doesn’t care about me then why the hell should I give a damn about it? Personally, I do not belong to either of the mentioned category. Nevertheless, I do not enjoy loneliness because I tend to think too much whenever I feel that I have been left out. I feel vulnerable, I feel insecure, and I feel down when I’m faced with loneliness. But sometimes, just sometimes, loneliness is good for one. It gives you a chance to reflect on life and identify its purpose. At the end of the day, one must realize that we are eventually on our own out there. Nobody can actually be there for you 24/7. Family is considered as close but ...

I wake up one day to find that I can no longer write the way I used to write anymore. Is it because I’ve not been writing for a long time? Or is it because the passion and inspiration have been forgotten? I do not have the answer to this question, nor have I the answer to other questions. I must admit that I am the kind of person who keeps everything to himself. Loud and elaborative I might seem but all my true feelings are being hid deep inside my heart. Nobody has access to it, not even me because it reminds me of the irony that I’m living in. The problem with this system is that just like any storage device, it has its storage limit. Should it reach its limit once in a while, you can expect a tidal wave in my emotions. Sometimes I try to convey my thoughts in a more stylistic way but it always end up too be too abstract that people can’t really get what I mean, especially those whom the message was intended to. Recently I am really upset. Something keeps lingering in my mind and I c...

This semester is about to end but still, I have no idea of what I've learned for the past 9 weeks. WTF?! It's already hard enough to cope with all the assignments and now there's the CGPA for me to worry about. I have a bad feeling about this semester's results and if possible, prove me wrong please. T.T Everything is fine with SUKSIS and soon, I'll be a senior. Practical in police stations, here I come. And of course, the pertauliahan where I would be appointed as Inspector KS. But that'll have to wait until the graduation season. XD Guess what? I already have my own grandchilren at such a young age. Call me grandpa please. =) It's fun hanging out with my family and I appreciate their commitment very much. Love ya all. ^.^ You all gave me the strength to carry on whenever I am F-ed up.

It's the time of the year when you (or I to be frank) have to worry about results. It's not all about grades in the University, I know. But what is it then without grades? Haha. Well, other than that, there's 25 days of SUKSIS training once again. Come on, they owed us our allowances and not in a small sum that is. Still, why so many days of training? I mean it's the semester break and aren't we supposed to be sitting at our home enjoying quality time. Damn. However, one is usually helpless in such situations because we took an oath to become a KS (unless ingnorant is bliss which is yet another case). I do not regret involving myself into such activites but I just hope that I can spend more time out of the campus, with my family especially. But as one grows up, it starts to seem harder. If I pursue my dreams, maybe I'd be stationed somewhere far away from home. How am I going to cope with that? It's going to be hard and for a person like me, I'd prefer n...

Life is good, yet it tears me apart at the same time. I've got a result that sucks and this is only the second semester, it made me wonder wheter it will keep falling in the following semester, which is very likely to happen. Maybe I didn't work hard enough. Or maybe, just maybe, some lecturers of mine just prefer the fairer sex and I end up getting a B or something worse. Well, I guess that this is life and I'll just have to move on with it. Aside from academic, everything is still fine in Kor SUKSIS. However, the orders given were oftenly messed up and I am not sure of who should I be listening to. I am going to be an intermediate soon and hopefully it would be a fine year with great juniors joining us. When it comes to personal life, it is always complicated. Bye bye to the second semester and welcome to the third semester. Life's just getting tougher and tougher. :-D

Life is like a dream, isn’t it? Everything comes and goes before you knew it. Most of the times, we can’t really recall what we dreamt of the previous minute when we were fast asleep and yet, we had already woke up from it. Be that as it may, there were still dreams where you’ll never forget, not while you can still breathe. Some of them consist of nightmares while the rest, or rather most of them, were sweet dreams. Nobody can stay awake for their whole life; one must take a rest and sleep. However, it is also impossible for one to fell asleep all the time either. I know it sounds contradicted but that is the fact. Dreams can’t be programmed, unlike the computer. Therefore, it is similar to life: it is at some point yours’, but not exactly yours actually. @.@” When I am having a nightmare, I would say to myself:” Oh, what a dream!? I wonder how long this will last”. It is interesting because the answer that it expected ( which is:” Not for very long, I should think”) always appears wh...