To quote a friend of mine: "You know it's already late at night but somehow you don't feel like going to sleep for no apparent reason". Perhaps there's the notion that life is indeed short and one has got to enjoy it to the fullest, even if it means just sitting there lost in one's own thoughts.
Come to think of it, this unwillingness to sleep seems to exist on two extremes: heavenly joy and hellish despair. You're either losing those precious moments of happiness while sleeping or you could at the same time slip into unpleasant nightmares depending on how you're feeling at that time. For me, I choose to stay awake because there's a void inside me that I can't seem to fill.
Despite the fact that I'm pretty exhausted after coming back from work, I don't really feel like sleeping. I guess I could have lived in a fortress with maximum security and yet felt insecure. Sometimes I just need someone whom I could talk to, perhaps someone who could make all the weight I feel on my shoulders go away even without the need to speak, someone I could trust, someone... special. :)
I like my name Raphael. Although it's taken from an archangel, I'm just a human. How I wish that I do have a pair of wings and the ability to heal as the name indicates. Whenever I attend a mass the bells would ring and the saying that an angel gets its wings would strike me. Well, that pair of wings might not have been visible but I do feel myself being lighter as I step out of the church after mass ends so I think that the saying is true in a sense.
Without wings, the only way for one to fly is perhaps through joy and happiness. Well, your body could more or less fly with the aid of technology but it's your heart that matters more. I could really use a pair of wings to break away from reality. Would you be so kind as to give me a pair of those, please? ;)
Come to think of it, this unwillingness to sleep seems to exist on two extremes: heavenly joy and hellish despair. You're either losing those precious moments of happiness while sleeping or you could at the same time slip into unpleasant nightmares depending on how you're feeling at that time. For me, I choose to stay awake because there's a void inside me that I can't seem to fill.
Despite the fact that I'm pretty exhausted after coming back from work, I don't really feel like sleeping. I guess I could have lived in a fortress with maximum security and yet felt insecure. Sometimes I just need someone whom I could talk to, perhaps someone who could make all the weight I feel on my shoulders go away even without the need to speak, someone I could trust, someone... special. :)
I like my name Raphael. Although it's taken from an archangel, I'm just a human. How I wish that I do have a pair of wings and the ability to heal as the name indicates. Whenever I attend a mass the bells would ring and the saying that an angel gets its wings would strike me. Well, that pair of wings might not have been visible but I do feel myself being lighter as I step out of the church after mass ends so I think that the saying is true in a sense. Without wings, the only way for one to fly is perhaps through joy and happiness. Well, your body could more or less fly with the aid of technology but it's your heart that matters more. I could really use a pair of wings to break away from reality. Would you be so kind as to give me a pair of those, please? ;)
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