I wake up one day to find that I can no longer write the way I used to write anymore. Is it because I’ve not been writing for a long time? Or is it because the passion and inspiration have been forgotten? I do not have the answer to this question, nor have I the answer to other questions.
I must admit that I am the kind of person who keeps everything to himself. Loud and elaborative I might seem but all my true feelings are being hid deep inside my heart. Nobody has access to it, not even me because it reminds me of the irony that I’m living in. The problem with this system is that just like any storage device, it has its storage limit. Should it reach its limit once in a while, you can expect a tidal wave in my emotions. Sometimes I try to convey my thoughts in a more stylistic way but it always end up too be too abstract that people can’t really get what I mean, especially those whom the message was intended to.
Recently I am really upset. Something keeps lingering in my mind and I can’t seem to shut it off, even for a while. There’s a song by Justin Timberlake called “What goes around, comes around” and it best describes my current situation. This feeling inside me is overflowing and I’m drowning. Yet, indifference is blocking the outflow. Help! I have no idea of what else I can do to save myself. I never thought that it’d be a disaster. The feeling that I’m dealing with is the most powerful force in the world and for sure I can’t beat it. In fact, it is consuming me - biting off my heart, pieces by pieces. It’s really driving me crazy! Why? Why do I have to bear this enormous pain? Maybe it’s because I’ve taste its sweetness before and I know that it’s worthy to keep holding on, for the reward will be handsome. It is also true that in the whole progress, I get to learn a lot of things that can’t be found in any textbook or that money can buy. I have a feeling that this would go on for a long, long time…
一觉醒来，发现自己再也无法像以往那样地写作了。是因为太久没练习而生疏了吗？又或者是因为那股热情与灵感已不在了？这一个问题，我没有答案，就如我没有其它问题的答案一样。
我必须承认我是一个将所有事情都埋藏在心底的人。或许我说起话来声音很响亮，肢体语言也很多。但，我真实的感受却往往被我压抑在心头而不被说出来。没有人能够到达那一个地方，就连我自己也会尽量地避开它， 因为它提醒着我这世界是多么的虚伪。就像任何的储存系统一样，这地方也有它的极限。偶尔当资料多得满溢的时候，你大可预料到我的情绪上会起大风浪。有时候我试着用一些比较婉转的手法来表明我的心声，但是这么一来，人家反而会因为太抽象的关系而完全会错意，尤其是当事人。
最近我非常的懊恼。有些事情一直在我的脑海中徘徊，想要一时的清静也不得。贾斯丁有一首歌的歌名 “What goes around, comes around” （恕无法直译）很适合描述我现在的情形。这感觉已经决堤，而我也快被淹没了。但是，有一个叫做“无动于衷”的东西正在挡着洪流的出口。救命啊！我已经不知所措了。我从没想过这会是一个灾难。我正面对着的感觉是世界上最强大的力量，我肯定无法打败她。她已经在吞噬着我了，一片一片的撕下我的心。我快疯了！为什么？我为什么须要承受这么大的痛苦？或许是因为我尝过那甜美的感觉，而我也知道如果我坚持下去的话，我是肯定不会失望的。况且，在这过程中，我学到了许多课本上找不到，又或是使用金钱也买不到的东西。我想，这一切会一直的持续下去… …
Please don’t get me wrong. ;-)
请别会错意。;-)
I must admit that I am the kind of person who keeps everything to himself. Loud and elaborative I might seem but all my true feelings are being hid deep inside my heart. Nobody has access to it, not even me because it reminds me of the irony that I’m living in. The problem with this system is that just like any storage device, it has its storage limit. Should it reach its limit once in a while, you can expect a tidal wave in my emotions. Sometimes I try to convey my thoughts in a more stylistic way but it always end up too be too abstract that people can’t really get what I mean, especially those whom the message was intended to.
Recently I am really upset. Something keeps lingering in my mind and I can’t seem to shut it off, even for a while. There’s a song by Justin Timberlake called “What goes around, comes around” and it best describes my current situation. This feeling inside me is overflowing and I’m drowning. Yet, indifference is blocking the outflow. Help! I have no idea of what else I can do to save myself. I never thought that it’d be a disaster. The feeling that I’m dealing with is the most powerful force in the world and for sure I can’t beat it. In fact, it is consuming me - biting off my heart, pieces by pieces. It’s really driving me crazy! Why? Why do I have to bear this enormous pain? Maybe it’s because I’ve taste its sweetness before and I know that it’s worthy to keep holding on, for the reward will be handsome. It is also true that in the whole progress, I get to learn a lot of things that can’t be found in any textbook or that money can buy. I have a feeling that this would go on for a long, long time…
一觉醒来，发现自己再也无法像以往那样地写作了。是因为太久没练习而生疏了吗？又或者是因为那股热情与灵感已不在了？这一个问题，我没有答案，就如我没有其它问题的答案一样。
我必须承认我是一个将所有事情都埋藏在心底的人。或许我说起话来声音很响亮，肢体语言也很多。但，我真实的感受却往往被我压抑在心头而不被说出来。没有人能够到达那一个地方，就连我自己也会尽量地避开它， 因为它提醒着我这世界是多么的虚伪。就像任何的储存系统一样，这地方也有它的极限。偶尔当资料多得满溢的时候，你大可预料到我的情绪上会起大风浪。有时候我试着用一些比较婉转的手法来表明我的心声，但是这么一来，人家反而会因为太抽象的关系而完全会错意，尤其是当事人。
最近我非常的懊恼。有些事情一直在我的脑海中徘徊，想要一时的清静也不得。贾斯丁有一首歌的歌名 “What goes around, comes around” （恕无法直译）很适合描述我现在的情形。这感觉已经决堤，而我也快被淹没了。但是，有一个叫做“无动于衷”的东西正在挡着洪流的出口。救命啊！我已经不知所措了。我从没想过这会是一个灾难。我正面对着的感觉是世界上最强大的力量，我肯定无法打败她。她已经在吞噬着我了，一片一片的撕下我的心。我快疯了！为什么？我为什么须要承受这么大的痛苦？或许是因为我尝过那甜美的感觉，而我也知道如果我坚持下去的话，我是肯定不会失望的。况且，在这过程中，我学到了许多课本上找不到，又或是使用金钱也买不到的东西。我想，这一切会一直的持续下去… …
Please don’t get me wrong. ;-)
请别会错意。;-)
Comments
Seems like you've been out so long...*chuckles.
Anyway, seems like you really needed a break with all that emotional overflow you were talking about. Hope you're okay now. Maybe blogging can will help cool you down, it does in my case.
See you around.