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Spring cleaning

*Spoiler: This article has got nothing to do with spring cleaning at all.*

I never really know how it feels like to be working full-time. Well, at least not until recently. That feeling of one being bound to responsibilities is just... heavy? lol I'm not supposed to be joking since it's something serious but then again, "Why so serious?" to quote The Joker. *Sigh* I guess it requires a lot of effort when one is in a commitment huh? That is one of the reasons why I can barely blog nowadays. The moment I got back from work all I can think of is to relax my body as well as my mind. It's funny how I always thought of hanging out or doing other activities when I'm still at work but I end up going to bed early or laze at home at the end of the day. You can imagine how it's like when it requires strength for you to go out and enjoy yourself. Sounds kind of pathetic and exaggerated but it's just to give you a rough idea of how it's like to be working. You might hold a certain position in the company or firm or whatsoever but trust me, the job description is as they say "more elaborate" than the title suggests. I'm a man of contradiction and having said all that, here I would like to give myself a slap on the face. "When any duty is to be done, it is fortunate for you if you feel like doing it; but, if you do not feel like it, that is no reason for not doing it." Ironic as it can be, it's a good way of reminding myself to pull myself together and keep moving forward. A soldier never backs down, unless it's a part of the strategy to secure victory.

A lot of people around me have this tendency to feel that they do not deserve good things or persons in their life for various reasons. At first I would think to myself "What are these people talking about? They are all very nice people and of course they do deserve good things in life." Lately I'm beginning to have this kind of feeling too. Padan muka as they say in the Malay language. lol I am in no way saying that I am a nice person and by being so I deserve good things in life. What I'm trying to get across is that sometimes my support system will experience technical problems so to speak and as a result I feel like giving up. It's frustrating to find yourself on the downside of life and nothing seems to be going according to your plan. Nevertheless, it appears to me while I'm writing this that nothing bad is actually something good if you get what I mean. Something bad is better than something that's worse. Perhaps I set my goals too high and got too demanding at times. That's when I fail to count my blessings and forget how to be grateful. Alas, such is human nature to think that everything is 理所当然 as it goes in Chinese. When one is able to come to realization, he or she would definitely feel better. Moreover, I have two things that will always stand by me when all else fails: God and my family. It's good to know that they've got my back no matter what; it helps me to push forward when the situation gets tough and for that, I am thankful.

Blogging is nice; it keeps me connected with my inner self so that I won't get lost in the world outside. However, that's not the only reason why I continue blogging and for those who took the trouble to go through my writing, you know it's because of you too. Or is it all because of you after all? ;)

On a side note, my boss told us something during yesterday's meeting. She said that we dare not face a certain problem and choose to run away from it instead because we have a kind of fear towards it. But the fact is, the more you run away from it, the more daunting it becomes when you're forced to deal with it eventually. Running away is never a good way of problem solving because by doing so we only distance ourselves from the problem and the problem remains unsolved indefinitely. So unless you're taking part in a running competition, always face the problem directly as it'll make things easier. I know it's easier said than done but it makes sense to me and I will try to use this approach in my future undertakings, depending on the situation.  Like I said, I'm a man of contradiction and you can take my word for it. XD Chinese New Year please come soon!

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